Tag Archives: More Useless Advice

More Useless Advice That May One Day Kill You (vol. 1)

The Almighty advised me to not look back while He’s barbequing sin on an open flame. Forrest Gump taught me to keep running. And Therapist Bob told me that I need to stop living in the past and running from my problems.

And now all I have for you, dear Reader, is more useless advice that may one day kill you:

1. Never sleep with a cockroach unless they promise you, in writing, to take you with them into the post-apocalyptic paradise.

2. Vote OTHER

3. Walk softly and carry conceal a mid-range CS Super Soaker.

Is that a Super Soaker 50 in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (your deserved groan here)

Is that a Super Soaker 50 in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (your deserved groan here)

4. Rules were made to be amended (see U.S. Constitution, Geneva Conventions, and latest edition of Dungeons and Dragons Official Handbook)

5. Never trust anyone who tells you they LOVE dead baby jokes.

Autopsy: Man decapitated with mobile wire for telling one-too many dead-baby jokes to the wrong baby.

Autopsy: Man decapitated with mobile wire for telling one-too many dead-baby jokes to the wrong baby.

(Disclaimer: Please don’t kill the messenger, unless they advise you to do so – for a nominal fee of course.)