Tag Archives: Facebook

Resurrecting Say Something Funny One Tweet at a Time

After months of neglecting this blog, Say Something, the D.I.S. (Department of Inhuman Services) finally stepped in, DIS’ed me and threatened to take my blog away unless I started producing. Truth be known, I was recently voted kicked off The Island of Misfit Blogs by that stupid King Moonracer and his Misbegotten Blogger minions.

King Moonracer poses with finalist bloggers on Island of Misfit Blogs (Not Pictured: Say Something Funny)

The Boomerang-of-Hate comes back to hit Mel Gibson upside the head, when he was added to the "no-fly" list while trying to board a flight from LA to Australia.

Therapist Bob suggested this was a tell-tale sign that I needed to resurrect Say Something Funny. He also suggested that I wait three full days, so the blog’s rebirth would be grounded in biblical allusions. Thanks, but no thanks, Therapist Bob. I’ve seen Mel “Serpent Tongue” Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” to know that’s not a sound piece of advice. (I still think I could make bank selling W.W.M.S? (What Would Mel Spew?) bracelets…)

For months now, Say Something Funny has been on life support and WordPress was about to pull the plug, until word-of-social media got out and made its rounds up on Corporate Hill in D.C. via Twitter. News of Say Something Funny’s imminent peril spread like wildfire and bubbling brimstone among the Right to Cyber-Lifers, who recently hijacked the House — killing Democracy in the crossfire. Rest in Peace, Democracy; you’ll be missed.

As if struck by a miracle, these folks, temporarily blinded by humanity, put their pitchforks aside and came to my rescue. Overwhelmed by their willingness to sacrifice their time obstructing bills, writing new bills that will thwart the recent spread of civil rights and taking turns washing the Tea Baggers’ soiled tea bags by hand, Say Something Funny had no other choice but to unhook the artificial breathing apparatus and begin breathing on its own.

To help facilitate the resurrection and inspire a revolution, I’ve decided to call upon Twitter, who has agreed to tweet down from the mountain and spend time away from the burning bush before the rest of its eyebrows are completely singed. Now to build a following one tweet at a time… Well, that and actually producing material that will keep the minions coming back for more…

Initial Tweet: Vive Say Something Funny! Building a satiric revolution one tweet at a time…

Be sure to follow Say Something Funny on Twitter.

And stayed tuned for the inaugural post and The Daily Tweet T’wit (To wit)…

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Top Ten Women Tiger Woods Has NOT Slept With

America's Next Top Swinger

Once all the women who allegedly slept with America’s No. 1 Player Tiger Woods have officially stepped forward, it was only a matter of time before the remaining women left in America who have NOT slept with the golf ace would come crawling out of the woodwork (I know, I know…bad pun).

Fortunately for the latter population of women, a social networking group has started up on Facebook, “I have not slept with Tiger Woods,” – a place for the scarcity of women in America who feel left out and have a place to share their non-sexual experiences with one another. The group has already swelled to nearly 1,400 members, who allegedly did not sleep with Tiger Woods, and I imagine FOX News is tapping this source for up-and-coming ambush interviews.

Inspired by the Tiger Wood’s sexual prowess and the neglected holes he left behind, I thought I would do my part by creating the following list:

Top Ten Women Tiger Woods Has NOT Slept With

10. _____________________________

9. Ibid

8. Ibid

7. Ibid

6. Ibid

Tiger Woods pumps his fist in the air to celebrate finishing off the back-9 at a high-end brother outside of Las Vegas

5. Ibid

4. Ibid

3. Ibid

2. Ibid

1. Ibid

If you or anyone you know or don’t know has NOT slept with Tiger Woods, feel free to add their name in the COMMENTS section below.