To Therapist Bob, for lowering your hourly rates…
F.A.Q. (that’s Frequently Asked Questions for those of you suffering from A.C.D. (Acronym Challenged Disorder))
1. Why did you shift from political satire, Political Fallout, to straight humor on Say Something Funny?
Funny you should ask (not really, but I do have a fetish for clichéd transitions). When a friend first asked me this question, I responded: “Why play God’s apprentice, when you can play God?” Not that I think I’m God or one of his messengers for that matter, but I started feeling like political satirists have become the ambulance-chasers of the humor world. As a political satirist, my job consisted of waiting for politicians to screw up and/or Say Something Stupid, which happens approximately every 3.5 seconds – or half the time the average male entertains a sexual thought. (Speaking of which…)
Besides, who would want to be god’s apprentice or messenger anyhow? If you think God is going to step aside and let you step in, you are more delusional and narcissistic than the Big Guy himself. (pause for Smote Break…) Not to mention the average life expectancy for God’s apprentices and messengers is somewhere between a politician screwing up and my last sexual thought.
Moreover, while writing straight journalism and political satire, both of which require research and facts, I developed an allergic reaction to the truth.
2. Are you afraid of losing some of your fan base at your other site, Political Fallout?
No. Both my mother and her friend, Irene, assured me that they will support me in my new writing endeavor. Granted, neither one of them owns a computer and Irene, who was my 90-year old elementary school principal 30 years ago, still thinks a blog is a type of goiter.
3. Why did you choose Say Something Funny as your site’s name?
Read debut post. Although I did consider using Liquid Nose Blow and Irene’s suggestion, Prune Juiced Rib Ticklers, but I chose to stick with S.S.F. (the official acronym of Say Something Funny).
Are you sure the name Say Something Funny was not inspired by Patty Duke’s 1965 hit song “Say Something Funny”?
Indirectly, yes. I chose SSF in orderf to take back Say Something Funny from Patty Duke. There’s nothing funny about a break-up song, wherein the leading man finds a new gal and has no choice but to dump his old steady in front of a bunch of onlookers.
Patty Duke – “Say Something Funny” (Or not…)
When it comes to break-up songs playing in the backdrop of a dumping scene, I would take AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” and the Bee Gee’s “Tragedy” any day — which were the first two cassette tapes I bought when cassettes first came out in the ‘70s. Whether it was eclectic taste or prophetic foreboding, I haven’t yet decided, although I’m leaning toward “all of the above.”
4. What do the initials T.M. in your name stand for?
5. How much do you get paid for writing Say Something Funny?
On a bad week: nothing. On a good week: nearly twice as much as a bad week. But if you’re feeling guilty for exploiting a penniless blogger, feel FREE to click below and buy me a gift on my Amazon wish list:
6. Why would you keep writing if you don’t make any money?
7. Boxers or briefs?
Neither: Who has the time for either one these days?
8. Do you have an agent?
Not yet. I’m still waiting for the Federal Government to officially release Agent Orange from its top-secret files. In the meantime, if you are an agent and have street cred in the humor writing market or you are an up-and-coming agent looking to hitch your prospects to yours truly, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
We can sort out this disease by using Iodine in our food on daily basis.