Category Archives: Top Ten Lists

To do her part in stimulating the economy, the Octomom (aka Nadya Denise Suleman) thought the best way she could contribute was by breeding new consumers, adding eight more to her stable of six. Unfortunately, given the fact that she has no viable income coupled with her multi-million dollar hospital bill, it is only a matter of time before Octomom begins lobbying Congress for an additional bailout.

Nadya Suleman Gutierrez: Voted "Most Likely to Breed a Third-World Country" by her high school senior classmates

Fearing that the government may force her into bankruptcy and sell off her only assets, her litter of children, Octomom has yet to sign them out from the hospital, which by the way, now serves as a four-star hotel with around-the-clock nurses, free cable television, and an in-house nanny service.

So what do you give somebody who is seeking more attention? More attention. Which leads us to this week’s edition of David Letterman’s “Late Show” Online Top Ten Contest. Due to the recent demise of voter turnout among SSF readers, my quest to win the Holy “Online Late Show” t-shirt has devolved from an obsession to an exercise-in-futility.

That said, here’s my top-ten list of possible entries to this week’s Top Ten contest. Once again, I’m soliciting your help – or not. I’ve written ten possible entries for this week’s list, and it’s up to you to help me select the CHOSEN ONE from the list (for I can only submit one) that you think has the best chance of winning.

Just think, with your help, all of this could be mine

This week’s list: Top Ten Pet Peeves of the Octomom

10. When the media keeps giving her all the attention she craves

9. Hospital nurses keep moving octuplets around without updating seating chart

8. Conceiving children the old-fashioned way

7. Potential suitors confuse her with James Bond girl Octopussy

6. Angelina Jolie refuses to take any of the octuplets for a test-drive

5. ABC’s Extreme Makeover’s keeps offering to build her family a giant shoe to live in

4. Porn giant Vivid offered her ONLY $1 million to star in adult film

3. Strangers keep recommending she read Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”

2. When the octuplets treat her body like a Hookah Bong

1. Can’t claim donor sperm as tax write-off

Don’t forget to indicate (in the Comments) which ONE of these I should submit to the Top Ten Contest.

Chief Illiniwek: "Read my face paint: I am not a racist mascot."

Usually when controversy and basketball mascots are mentioned in the same breath, it has something to do with the use of negative Native-American stereotypes such as the Fighting Illini’s Chief Illiniwek, Florida State’s Sammy Seminole, or the University of North Dakota’s Fighting Sioux.

However, to address these stereotypical misrepresentations of the Native-American culture, a University of Northern Colorado (UNC) intramural basketball team (which included players of Native-American ancestry) went on the satiric warpath in 2002 by adopting the name “Fighting Whites” (later dubbed “Fightin’ Whities” by media outlets). For their team’s mascot, the Fighting Whites employed a stereotypical, white, 1950s ad man based on the advertising art of the time.

When I first heard news about the Fightin’ Whities during an NPR report while driving my car to work, I nearly spit my coffee all over the dashboard. Finally, somebody had the stones to stick it to the White Man, I thought to myself. Before long, the Fightin’ Whities took the nation by storm and began selling the team’s t-shirt all over the country.

They sold enough t-shirts in 2003 that they were able to donate $100,000 to the UNC Foundation, most of which went to a scholarship fund for Native Americans.

Those silly Indian Givers — bucking the White Man’s ironic stereotypes once again.

And now David Letterman’s “Late Show” is getting in on some of the mascot action with its latest installment of the Online Top Ten Contest. Due to the recent demise of voter turnout among SSF readers, my quest to win the Holy “Online Late Show” t-shirt has devolved from an obsession to an exercise-in-futility.

That said, here’s my top-ten list of possible entries to this week’s Top Ten contest. Once again, I’m soliciting your help – or not. I’ve written ten possible entries for this week’s list, and it’s up to you to help me select the CHOSEN ONE from the list (for I can only submit one) that you think has the best chance of winning.

Just think, with your help, all of this could be mine

This week’s list: Top Ten Rejected NCAA College Basketball Mascots

10. University of North Carolina Tar Heels Babies

9. AIG Golden Parachutists

8. University of Nevada – Las Vegas Number-Runnin’ Rebels

7. University of Kentucky Klansmen

6. University of Tennessee – Nashville Off-Court Predators

5. Boston College Lady Spread-Eagles

4. Indiana University Dark Knights

3. Duke Blue Devils Ballers

2. Oral Roberts University Fightin’ Fundies

1. American University Flying Jihadists

Don’t forget to indicate (in the Comments) which ONE of these I should submit to the Top Ten Contest.