Having finally paid off the first installment of this bit, I’ve finally managed to scrape together enough material for a second installment of:
I’m so broke that…
I asked the Tea Party to refund my membership dues.
I couldn’t pay full homage to the late Ronnie James Dio.
I’m STILL saving up to file for bankruptcy.
I pawned one of my kidneys.
I’ve considered emigrating to Mexico.
A Census worker counted me as .4 — which is less than half the man I used to be.
My accountant* fired me (*Turbo Tax).
My wallet, after feeling empty and unfulfilled, ran off with my neighbor’s coin purse.
I voted for change, thinking I was voting for literal change (talk about shortchanging voters, eh?).
I STILL owe myself an apology for actually posting this cents-less dribble.
Now’s your chance, Dear Reader, to say something funny by adding your two cents (no I Owe Yous, please; I’m broke enough as it is) in the COMMENTS section below.
Say Something Funny 
Much, much less than half of that which gliters is gold which explains half of why I am broke. The other half has to do with wandering!
The local “Will work for food” guy refuses to make eye-contact.
I owe you one reason as to why i’m broke
I’m so broke that if it was free, I couldn’t afford it.
I’m so broke I have to get my feet re-soled.
Dweeb Seduction
I cant afford to loss a couple pounds… but also cant afford to gain a couple pounds
I’m so broke, I can’t even afford the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s.
For the holidays we’re not going to exchange gifts, we’re just going to sit around and exchange glances.
I’m so broke that my kids are broke, their kids are broke, their kids’ kids are broke. Even my grandparents are broke.
A guy asked me for change for a twenty. I’m so broke I can’t even change my mind.
I’m so broke, I get pre-declined credit cards in the mail.