Top Ten Pet Peeves of the Octomom (An Exercise in Futility)

To do her part in stimulating the economy, the Octomom (aka Nadya Denise Suleman) thought the best way she could contribute was by breeding new consumers, adding eight more to her stable of six. Unfortunately, given the fact that she has no viable income coupled with her multi-million dollar hospital bill, it is only a matter of time before Octomom begins lobbying Congress for an additional bailout.

Nadya Suleman Gutierrez (aka Natalie Doud): Voted "Most Likely to Breed a Third-World Country" by Doud High School senior classmates

Nadya Suleman Gutierrez: Voted "Most Likely to Breed a Third-World Country" by her high school senior classmates

Fearing that the government may force her into bankruptcy and sell off her only assets, her litter of children, Octomom has yet to sign them out from the hospital, which by the way, now serves as a four-star hotel with around-the-clock nurses, free cable television, and an in-house nanny service.

So what do you give somebody who is seeking more attention? More attention. Which leads us to this week’s edition of David Letterman’s “Late Show” Online Top Ten Contest. Due to the recent demise of voter turnout among SSF readers, my quest to win the Holy “Online Late Show” t-shirt has devolved from an obsession to an exercise-in-futility.

That said, here’s my top-ten list of possible entries to this week’s Top Ten contest. Once again, I’m soliciting your help – or not. I’ve written ten possible entries for this week’s list, and it’s up to you to help me select the CHOSEN ONE from the list (for I can only submit one) that you think has the best chance of winning.

Just think, with your help, all of this could be mine

Just think, with your help, all of this could be mine

This week’s list: Top Ten Pet Peeves of the Octomom

10. When the media keeps giving her all the attention she craves

9. Hospital nurses keep moving octuplets around without updating seating chart

8. Conceiving children the old-fashioned way

7. Potential suitors confuse her with James Bond girl Octopussy

6. Angelina Jolie refuses to take any of the octuplets for a test-drive

5. ABC’s Extreme Makeover’s keeps offering to build her family a giant shoe to live in

4. Porn giant Vivid offered her ONLY $1 million to star in adult film

3. Strangers keep recommending she read Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”

2. When the octuplets treat her body like a Hookah Bong

1. Can’t claim donor sperm as tax write-off

Don’t forget to indicate (in the Comments) which ONE of these I should submit to the Top Ten Contest.

7 responses to “Top Ten Pet Peeves of the Octomom (An Exercise in Futility)

  1. #2 – brilliant! – #2 is always the best.

    #3 – I would switch out, too obscure for the average Late Night viewer…

    #3a – Jennifer Aniston won’t acknowlege her in the green room

  2. would this be over-the-top….

    Home Shopping Network won’t carry her line of excess skin handbags.

  3. I like #2 and then #5.

    My own suggestions …

    11. Receiving advice from her pretentious eight-nippled neighbor.

    12. Eight new kids and still no date with Brad Pitt.

    13. Spiderman’s obsession with her family doctor, Dr. Ock

  4. I’m going with #2. But I feel like I should mention that #3 is my second favorite.

  5. I like #5

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