Ever since the gap-toothed, late-night comedic wonder David Letterman made his television debut in 1982, I’ve always fantasized about being a guest on his “Late Show.” By guest, I mean an actual guest and not a Stupid Human and/or Pet Trick performer.
Twenty-six years have passed and no such luck. As Letterman ages and the window of opportunity closes faster and faster, I’ve come to the realization that I’m willing to settle for winning a “Late Show Online” t-shirt from his weekly online Top Ten Contest.
Apparently CBS throws “Online” on the t-shirt to draw a fine line between Letterman’s live and virtual audience — as if the latter were some kind of communicable disease.
That said, after I win my t-shirt, I plan on having the following screen printed on the back:
“I dreamt of being on the Late Show with David Letterman, but instead all I got was this lousy Late Show Online t-shirt.”
So begins my quest, but like most heroic quests, I cannot do this alone — so I’m soliciting your help, dear reader. I’ve written ten possible entries for this week’s list, and it’s up to you to help me choose the ONE from the list (I can only submit one) that you think has the best chance of winning this week.
Be sure to indicate your choice in the comments section at the end of the post.
This week’s list: Top Ten Least Popular New Products at the Consumer Electronics Show
10. Life-sized, remote-control mime
9. Paris Hilton Global Positioning System (GPS) navigation device
8. Universal push-button spousal remote control
7. Battery-operated White Elephant
6. Set of personalized Osama bin Laden ringtone messages
5. Voice-activated nagging machine
4. Burning-diesel perfumed car airbags
3. Bernard Madoff Money Changer
2. Drunk sex breathalyzer-ignition chastity belt
1. Electronic George W. Bush divining rod
Don’t forget to let me know (in the Comments) which one of these I should submit.